think that intimacy is sex. But intimacy is about truth, when you can tell
someone your truth, when you can show yourself to them, when you stand in front
of them and their response is , “You’re safe with me”- that’s intimacy.
The moment we hear the word intimacy, a wrong notion arises in our mind. We attribute it as a physical relationship. But Ananya and Mihir proved this wrong. Ananya was a school teacher and had given up teaching as it had become monotonous. She found it boring at home initially, later she diverted herself by reading and socialising. She happened to come across Mihir on the facebook. Mihir was a banker and a part time insurance agent. He loved life and took things in his stride. He was always with a smile. His never give up attitude was loved by Ananya. He gave Ananya a reason to look at life with a different perspective. Their wavelengths matched and they shared common interests. Mihir identified that Ananya was far more capable and talented than she herself could imagine. He wanted her to come out of her comfort zone and live life. He had identified her flair for writing and so he got her few online editorial jobs which boosted up Ananya’s confidence. Their friendship blossomed into a healthy relationship. They spoke to each other over phone at length. Their lives were an open book to each other.
Both their families knew of their friendship and never objected to it. Together they took up online jobs and supported each other financially as well. Mihir involved Ananya into content writing and editing as well which honed her writing skills. The best part of their relationship was that more than two years had lapsed and both had not met each other. They had seen each other in photographs only but still there existed a strong bonding. Finally they decided to meet in one of their official meetings. Both were excited to meet each other. They had planned to hang out together to engage themselves in casual chit chat apart from the official portfolio.
The day arrived when both finally met, they shook hands and embraced each other gently. It was a safe and secure feel for Ananya. It was a great stress buster. It was a long time dream come true for them. They attended the official meetings and found time for chit chat in the evening. They sat together on the terrace after dinner at night in the moonlight speaking out their heart to each other. People were surprised at such a lovely friendship, few were jealous too. Soon the time came when both had to part from each other. But both had an assurance that they were meant to be together in the journey of life. Nothing would separate them and together they would scale greater heights. Isn’t this intimacy in the true sense?
Have you felt such a thing. We at STHREEJEEVAN are waiting to hear from you. Write to us at firstname.lastname@example.org
It’s been long since you heard from us and I know you’ve been waiting. I was just thinking of making our platform a bit different. So this time I thought why not dedicate a writing to our dads who in silence live each day for us. Hope you will enjoy reading it.
The best gift in this world we can give someone is an assurance that, “You are not alone, I’m there for you.” This should be highlighted not just in mere words. It must be in the way we treat someone. Our attitudes have a great role to play.
I’m reminded of a small incident. I stay a kilometre away from my parents’ house. Hence visiting them often has become ritualistic. My hubby, children also make it a point to pay a visit. It so happened that once my parents had gone on a tour. When they returned, my dad was down with fever. Medicines were unable to bring him back to normal condition. I couldn’t go to see him because of a relative’s death. An orthodox custom of ours forbid me to do so. But I had to break this custom, as dad’s only demand then, was to see me. He said he didn’t want to follow anything for sometime. My Mom who’s usually rigid in such things gave me permission. Her main concern that time was my dad’s health. I went to see him. He jumped out of his bed and shook hands with me. I could feel the wrinkles on his hands which reminded me of his age. But he never likes to be called ‘old’. I could also sense how comfortable he felt holding my hands. Tears welled up my eyes but I suppressed for I knew he would cry as well. We chatted for sometime. I gave him food and his medicine and returned home. Next morning, I received a call from my Mom saying that dad’s fever had come down. He had also had a sound sleep the previous night. I was relaxed and thanked God for making me understand that children’s company serves as a better medicine for ageing parents.
Let’s hope we all give the same respect to our fathers just as we do for our mothers.
A lovely morning to all
the lovely readers of STHREEJEEVAN who are going to prove their mettle to the
entire world. You are going to let them know that there’s no dearth of
opportunities for you which will help you create your own identity.
So, how did your day
start – social media overflowing with Good day wishes? You smiled reading their
messages, but some vacuum still persists in your heart for the people really
close to you never bothered to wish you. Don’t feel disheartened. Just ignore
their actions and move forward to explore and embrace a better world that’s awaiting
you. Emotional attachments do have a great role to play in the lives of women
but that mustn’t act as a barrier in our growth. We have to believe in our
potential and strengths if we want our lives to be better. Most of us are well
qualified and learned, then why must we plunge in a doom? It’s high time we get
out of our thresholds and reach out to those women who lack awareness or are
really weak physically and emotionally.
A month back or so
many women and children have lost the head of their family. Most of them are
from the rural backgrounds whose life faced a total collapse because of the
demise of their spouses. Financial support also would have ended. They might be
given remuneration by the government but that too after lengthy official
procedures. Till then what’s the state of their lives? There would have
occurred cases of school drop outs.
Isn’t this the time
when we can put our knowledge, experience and wisdom to use to uplift someone
who really needs it? Collect information that’s genuine about these families
and see how you can support them from your place. It’s not possible for you to
directly reach them but it’s not impossible to help. Contact your friends, form
a small group and see how you can render your services. My request to you again
on this day to you is don’t give importance to people who treat you as an
option. Work in such a way that you are their topmost priority.
Also, elections are round the corner. Voting is not just your right but also a national duty. Do cast your vote fulfill this duty. Encourage others in your neighbourhood, family and friends, colleagues and everyone you know to cast their vote and exercise your power.
Do share your views, mail me at email@example.com
Today’s short story of mine is going to touch upon the sensitive feeling of biological needs. Many women now-a-days go through depression, early menopause and hormonal imbalances. Apart from irregular food and sleep pattern there is lack of physical intimacy too. When biological needs are not met life becomes topsy-turvy. A question might arise then, how about spinsters or members of religious community who practice celibacy. Their way of living is entirely different from ours. We have experienced the bliss of togetherness and have a craving for it. When it’s not met we might do what Rajani did.
Rajani was happily married to Sudhir. They doted over each other and lead a happy life till Sudhir changed his job. Rajani and Sudhir lived in a cosy home in Shimla. Sudhir for better prospects and growth gave up his office job and moved to sales and promotion. This forced him to travel extensively. He would be at home hardly for five-six days in a month. Even when he was there he would be busy over calls or would sleep to shun away travel fatigue. The money inflow of course was promising but the compatibility between him and Rajani had reduced. Rajani longed for those really intimate moments with Sudhir. Intimacy was of course there but was too mechanical.
Rajani was getting into depression. She started getting diverted to porn material on social media to satisfy her needs. While doing so, she happened to come across dating sites. She got attracted to it and thought of giving it a try. She started chatting with a person called Abhay who was facing problems of a similar nature. Their talks slowly got intimate and they loved each other’s company. They enjoyed intimacy over phone which gave Rajani, the much needed relaxation.
Abhay, one day suggested a meeting in person to enjoy the intimacy. Rajani got excited but was a bit scared too about the safety. How could she give up to a person whom she had just known over phone? Won’t such relationship be against moral values? It would be betraying Sudhir too, for no fault of his. But she had her biological needs. She was confused but finally decided not to go astray. She decided to let life go on as it is and not to succumb to biological cravings. She decided to focus her mind to something productive and for the growth of her family.
All these changed after she chatted with the friendly guide from
STHREEJEEVAN who inspired her to focus on long term gains and avoid pitfalls in
short term effects of stress.
Life is full of opportunities both boon and bane… choose them wisely.
strongest of relationships tumble and break when money matters are not dealt
Sanjeev and Deepika were happily married for over a decade. They had a ten year old son Sandeep. Both of them worked in corporate offices running a hectic schedule. What they earned was enough but sometimes at the end of the month their used to be a glitch. It used to be a pain on the neck as certain unavoidable expenses would crop up at the end of the month. Both of them used to borrow either from their parents or very close friends with an assurance to return at the earliest.
Once in a while Deepika used to pledge her jewellery without the knowledge of Sanjeev. Sanjeev used to feel guilty seeing Deepika struggling to help him out. He loved her more than his life. He trusted her a lot. But one thing he didn’t like about Deepika was her close friendship with Vidyuth her collegemate. Sanjeev had a feel that Vidyuth was playing upon Deepika’s emotions with his sugar-coated words. He didn’t want his darling wife to be tormented emotionally as he knew his Deepika was very sensitive by nature. But Deepika was sure Vidyuth would never let her down. Not a day would pass when Deepika wouldn’t call or text Vidyuth. Vidyuth liked Deepika but he was a hard core professional and at times admonished Deepika for calling him and texting him. In the weekends he wouldn’t correspond with Deepika. His wife hated his closeness with Deepika. Deepika never bothered about his anger. She believed him with her eyes blind-folded.
Her life was an open book to Vidyuth. He knew everything about her. Sanjeev never objected to their friendship but felt that marriage and friendship can’t go hand in hand. Childhood friends are a treasure no doubt but there are situations when they might turn the tables upside down. Deepika disagreed with Sanjeev in this regard. But soon, time taught her the right lesson.
A particular month, Deepika needed some money for her son’s medication. Sanjeev tried to arrange but couldn’t get. Deepika immediately told Sanjeev that she would borrow from Vidyuth. He volunteered to help but wanted her to return it at the earliest. Deepika was very alarmed at this. Her friend who was ready to stake anything for her, how could he posses such an attitude when it came to money. She didn’t have much time to think that time so she borrowed the money.
As luck would have it, the next month too Deepika & Sanjeev found it tough to make both ends meet. At this juncture Vidyuth too demanded her to return his money. Deepika had sleepless night but understood what Sanjeev had told her about limitations in a relationship. She was heavy at heart but couldn’t share with Sanjeev as he would be hurt too. She borrowed money from her cousin and returned it to Vidyuth. This was indeed an eye opener for Deepika. She also understood that only Sanjeev would stand by her at all times. His strictness and rigid value system in a way were shielding her which she failed to realise so long. She reduced her talks with Vidyuth and focused on her work and family. Deepika’s silence didn’t affect Vidyuth much as Deepika alone was not his friend. He had many more acquaintances to whom he gave preference.
Deepika in order to get back to normalcy spoke to one of her senior colleagues. The senior asked her to write to STHREEJEEVAN. Today Deepika is stable with the able guidance of efficient counsellors of STHREEJEEVAN.