This title really sounds weird isn’t it? But analyse at the core of your heart you will find that its somewhere true. Are we allowed to have an open discussion on this? It’s one of the things that is on the list of taboo talks. We, as women have no right to speak of it. If a girl is physically abused in a public place or elsewhere, that’s labelled as rape. Legal consequences rise up, but are the culprits really punished? Media takes up a lead role in portraying how the whole act took place by putting forth all unethical questions to the victims and increasing the trauma even more. The victim ultimately withdraws the case and the culprit is either released on bail or given few years of imprisonment.
There’s another arena where similar unethical act goes on and that’s in the household where a number of women face violence in different forms. This is what I call, a licensed rape. In a wedlock the woman gets into a physical intimacy with her partner after taking up wedding oaths and observing a set of religious customs. This is approved by the societal norms but is the woman or even the man in certain cases mentally ready for the unison? Now love marriages are in vogue so most of them are comfortable as it’s assumed. But still there are many cases of arranged marriages where the individuals don’t have a proper mind set. In that case isn’t it a licensed rape? Rape doesn’t confine to physical abuse alone, it refers to the shredding of an individual mentally and emotionally.
So many of us are happily married is what we believe and even portray in front of the society. But the stark reality is always hidden. Domestic violence, depression, negligence of spouse, house arrest etc too are kind of rapes. The first night as everyone calls, sometimes is the last night for few as in certain families that’s the act to extend the family lineage. Then how about the hormonal imbalances, mood swings and unsatisfied cravings of a woman which have taken birth as a result of this intimacy. She’s denied rights to speak of it as she’s a woman and if by chance she expresses her emotions, she’s branded as immoral. But a man can satisfy himself with various addictions like smoking, consumption of alcohol etc. He can do as he’s a man but as a woman we are not even allowed to speak of it. Can you file a divorce against a man saying all this or can you openly say that you are a victim of licensed rape? I know you can’t, then what’s the way to come out of all this?
You might not be experiencing such a thing but you might have come across similar instances. Please reach out to such women asking them to put their foot down against such a torment. Direct them to STHREEJEEVAN. We target to make the lives of women peaceful and above of all, want that every woman must live her own life with the uniqueness she’s born with.
by Sujatha Sairam, Chennai