“Love binds the universe, love lasts till eternity.”
The moment a person steps into this world, it is love which provides a footing for the core existence. The first cry, the first whimper, the first step put forward to walk are some of the really adorable moments. Can all these be defined as first love for the upcoming generation? According to them and our mythical lovers like Romeo-Juliet, Heer-Ranjha, Antony-Cleopatra it’s an innate feeling which an individual experiences either in their teens or youth.
The sudden upsurge of feelings is unexpected and spontaneous. In fact children can’t even define as to what it is. This wonderful feel is experienced towards the opposite gender. It might start from the looks i.e. physical appearance of an individual. Once the kids are mature enough they realise it’s a strong bonding. Some bonds last forever as they climb up the ladders of wedding. Some remain as memories buried deep down the heart. The present day media has planted in a wrong thought among children with regard to dating and live in relationships. They feel that to maintain a so called image amidst friends they surely have to indulge in an affair. Such untoward thoughts can be kept at bay by the support of teachers and parents.
It’s quite normal to have experienced love at young age. But is it accepted by the family is a big question to be pondered over. More than accepting or acknowledging the relationship it’s the approach of parents towards children during such a transition stage. There are a set of parents who retaliate the moment they hear such a thing. In fact they themselves would have got into the wedlock after a long courtship and then a dramatic wedding after a period of waiting with the mutual consent of their parents. But when it comes to their children they somehow manage to take up a role in the back stage considering that to be a hideous crime. There follows a series of lectures on the integrity of family name, customs and traditions etc. The teenager is hardly given a chance or time to express what kind of a mental state he or she is in. It would have been just a temporary feeling but the adverse reaction of parents might provoke the child to mess up with the situation. This might cause turbulence in interpersonal relationships. Let’s be different.
How can we be different? Let us behave in a matured fashion and give a patient ear to the child. We must be practical in explaining it to our children that it’s pretty normal at their age because of physiological and biological changes the body undergoes. It’s just a sense of admiration and attraction towards the opposite gender for certain explicit qualities. They must try to overcome this surge of emotions by trying to divert their minds rightfully towards their goal or target that they have set. Parents too must support them in this time. I’m sure our kids will behave sensibly once we speak about such things openly rather than putting it aside as a subject of taboo.
We too would have come across such situations but let’s ensure not to narrate those incidents at length in this regard. Sometimes that leads to a wrong portrayal of our parental image and in later stage might be a stake to our self-esteem. Our children must lead their own life, we can advice but to go by it exactly can’t be expected. There are individual differences. Let’s live and allow them to live on their own. Let them admire everything they come around and that must turn them as loveable, mature and stable individuals for lifetime.
by Sujatha Sairam, Chennai