Communication is an integral part of every relationship. It keeps you going and develops compatibility in every relationship. Verbal communication has a key role to play. More than what you communicate, how you communicate matters. This is mostly forgotten by people. Politeness and humility makes a communication effective in case of a family bonding.
A girl from childhood is brought up with a basic value system. She’s oft reminded that she has to get settled in another family. If she doesn’t imbibe values carefully, then she’ll have trouble in making adjustments with the people in the family after marriage. Women get married and enter into a new home fantasizing a beautiful life. As they enter we find that there is some difference in practices, customs and traditions though they are of the same caste. In such a case a doubt arises what is right and what is wrong. What is learnt from mom probably has to be induced only when a necessity arises.
Women cope with the situations and do their best to adjust to the demands of each and every individual in the house. At times when they go wrong people yell and blame them with regard to their upbringing and value system. Isn’t it confusing and chaotic that we have changed but nobody seems to have understood us. If we retaliate on any occasion in a high voice, then we are reminded that we are women and we need to be tongue tied. This rule applies for the daughter-in –law in a typical Indian family. But if the same thing is done by the daughter of the house at her in-law’s place, her in-laws are referred to as inhumane. There’s no logic behind such a thing.
Surely some of you have faced a similar situation. Nothing to worry. It’s quite common. Take it in the right spirit. Accept it this way-people shout at us because they can’t accept the fact that how can a perfect person go wrong. This in a way gives us an opportunity to refine ourselves even more. Keep in mind that every behavioral attitude of ours is closely watched by our children. We are setting an example for them so let’s be patient. Time will bring about a complete change in everything around us.
by Sujatha Sairam, Chennai